We must choose

Life is full of choices. Each of them takes us further down the road, never to find the same intersection again.

We all want to do a lot of things with and in our lifes. But that's not possible.

I'd love to have my own place, one I can call home; I'd also love to keep traveling, never really settling down.

I'd love to have the experience of having a kid; I'd also love to do the things I couldn't do if I had one.

Our lifes are finite, so we must choose. Some of these decisions scare us to the point of paralyzing us.

"The reason why fantasies of the future are so much more pleasant than doing them in the present, it’s because we get to hang on all of them. It is the choosing that is painful, choosing what we will do and what we don’t that most avoid doing."

-- from a podcast I listened to, whose name I forgot to write down :(

When I quit my job to become a full-time photographer, I had a fantasy: I'd travel the world, visit all continents, make images everywhere.

I wasn't so naive to think I'd travel so much, but I was expecting to go to many more places than I have ended up going to so far. In part because of the pandemic, which was a choice none of us wanted to take but were forced to.

Even though I'm still young enough to keep traveling for years to come, every time I decide to go somewhere, I'm also deciding not to go somewhere else. One decision at a time, I'm carving a path; one with many destinations, but one that will skip most of them.

I did not understand that one future comes at the exclusion of all others.

I had wanted two kids.

I had wanted to travel the world.

I had wanted to be the one to hold my mother’s hand at the end.

Everybody pretends that you only die once. But that’s not true. You can die to a thousand possible futures in the course of a single, stupid life.

-- No Cure for Being Human, Kate Bowler

Whether we want it or not, we must choose. We will miss on many, many things; we will get to do just a few, to experience a handful of them.

That's why it's so important to focus on what we do get to do, on what we do get to experience. And to share it with those people whose path didn't take them the same route.

Nothing lasts forever

Hello, friend, from somewhere in Iowa.

I’m typing this on my iPad from the passenger seat of our truck. Today, we left Indiana after being there for a couple of months, as we head West in the search of new adventures.

We’ve “moved” several times in the last few years. It doesn’t get any easier. Leaving behind a place and a routine, the comfort and safety they provide, and the people you shared your life with even if only for a few weeks, is always hard. And in some ways, the uncertainty of a road trip can be a bit scary.

I’ve come to realize that all of this is a good reminder, though: nothing lasts forever. Memento mori, some say. This is a fact we all are aware of, but it can get lost in the everyday, automatic behaviors we engage in.

Knowing that we only have a few weeks left of whatever we are doing, of wherever we are, and of whoever we are with, makes me enjoy all of it a bit more. It makes everyone around us that way.

It wasn’t too long ago when we were saying good bye to everyone in Spain over meals and drinks, or when we were celebrating being back with our loved ones in Indiana. This week, it was time to enjoy the last few days with them.

Even though I always try to keep in mind how lucky I am to even be alive, this approach to life has made me even more aware. Every day is special in a different way.

Take it all in today. Because we aren’t going to be here tomorrow.

Best books I've read lately

• On Writing, by Stephen King. The guy knows how to write, I couldn't put it down.
• On the shortness of life, by Seneca. 2,000 years later and the content of these three letters is still relevant. Beautiful written, too.
• Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius. I read it as part of my study of Stoicism. Incredibly deep and humbling thoughts from the most powerful man of his time.
• The obstacle is the way, by Ryan Holiday. A good introduction to Stoicism, and an easy read. I'm currently reading his The daily stoic.
• Atomic Habits, by James Clear. Tips and tricks on how to build good habits and get rid of the bad ones. His is one of the very few newsletters I subscribe to and look forward to reading.
• Buddha: a story of enlightenment, by Deepak Chopra. A book about spiritualism written by an alternative medicine advocate is probably the last thing I'd expect myself to fall in my hands. The story of Buddha is a beautiful one and this book does a terrific job. One of my favorite reads of the last few years, hands down.
• Goodbye, things, by Fumio Sasaki. Minimalism is all the rage nowadays and I'm all on board. This was one of the first books I've read on the topic and it's still my favorite.
• Come comida real, by Carlos Ríos. This one is in Spanish. Nutrition is another topic I've been exploring during the last few months and this book does a great job at explaining why most of the "food" you find in a grocery store isn't real food at all. It also shows the benefits of eating healthy and why you shouldn't be ashamed of it (I struggled with this!).
• 10% Happier, by Dan Harris. How the author got into meditation and how it's helped improving his day-to-day life. Meditation and mental health is yet another topic I'm interested in, and this book is unique in that shows a person's experience with the practice, instead of a boring manual of things you should and should not do.
• The art of creative thinking, by Rod Junkins. Stories and lessons from famous and not so famous artists. I think one should carve their own path and not necessarily repeat what others have done in the past, but I found plenty of inspiration in this book.

We are impossible

Space

During these past few weeks, I spent quite some time staring at the mountains in the distance. They fascinate me. At night, I'd look up and see the shadows of those giants, just a few miles away. I'd imagine how cold it was up there, how windy, how deathly.

Not only we live in the only planet capable of hosting us, but it is within a very thin section of Earth that we live in: barely 3 miles from sea level to the highest settlement.

Time

If you were to spin a roulette of time, with numbers from the beginning of the Universe until its end, what are the chances that the ball would fall on your lifetime? Beyond impossible.

Existence

What about our own existence? If our parents had sex a mere seconds earlier or later, we wouldn't be here. The odds of our parents to exist and meet were even lower. It keeps getting less and less likely the higher you go.

Today is impossible

We live in an impossible part of the Universe, at an impossible time, and we are the product of an impossible chain of events.

Today is impossible and yet, it's happening.

PS: I'm working on a project about these issues and I think a lot about it.

It's ok to be dissatisfied

Actually, I'd go so far as to say that dissatisfaction is something desirable.

When we look at our idols -musicians, writers, businessmen and women, photographers...-, we think they've all got everything figured out. In reality, most struggle with very similar things we struggle with.

Successful people use this in their favor.

Success comes when we embrace that dissatisfaction and turn it into a force that pushes us to create more.

On the other hand, satisfaction might lead to a lack of motivation and ambition.

Just remember to want the right things (why and what you create, not how), try to stay as consistent as you can (don't be all over the place), and let that dissatisfaction drive you.